15 March 2010

God is truly at work

Since I last blogged last Thursday I have experienced God's work in my life in a very special way. On Friday evening, after I had been working through some of the reasons why I'm not returning to Logos next year, as well as having my formal evaluation by the elementary principal, and also being challeged greatly by a book that I was reading, I was feeling very down. I knew that I could not keep going under the burden that was pressing down on me, and so I sought the prayer support of three friends here in Cambodia. I sent a text message to one, and her immediate response was to pray that God would send someone to be with me. She just knew that I needed someone and wasn't able to come herself. As I was about to send the same message to a second friend, who I knew would pray, another number came up on my phone first, and I know now that it was God's prompting that resulted in me sending the message to another single lady here in Phnom Penh. This lady is part of the home group that meets in my place, and our friendship has been slowly growing over the past six months or so. Finally I sent the message to the third person, who was originally going to be the only other person I sent it to. Well, the second lady responded quickly with her own text message, and when she didn't quite like my reply, she phoned me, and told me that she would be over as soon as she could get there. We spent the evening together, and as she reached out to me, I was eventually able to reach out to God in complete brokenness. God showed me that evening that while He loves us to be fully surrendered to Him, and this is His desire for us, He still loves us, even when we want to be in control ourselves, and fail to trust Him fully with all aspects of our lives. I know that I'm still a work in progress, and that I need to consciously surrender each day to Him, but am once again secure in the knowledge that He loves me no matter what. In the words of a song by Russell Fragar that I enjoy singing:

"Before the world began You were on his mind.
And ev'ry tear you cry, is precious in his eyes.
Because of his great love He gave his only Son,
Everthing was done so you would come.

Nothing you can do, could make him love you more.
And nothing that you've done, could make him close the door.

Because of his great love He gave his only Son,
Everything was done so you would come.

Come to the Father;
Though your gift is small,
Broken hears, broken lives,
He will take them all.
The power of the Word
The power of his blood,
Everything was done so you would come."
© 1996 Russell Fragar/Hillsongs Australia

Since Friday night, I have had a peace about where God is leading me next, and while I'm still uncertain where that is, I'm learning to leave it in His hands. That doesn't mean I'm sitting back doing nothing - quite the opposite - I've put in more applications in the last two days than in the previous four weeks - but I have a greater confidence that He is in control. I'd still love to know what His next plans are for me, but I'm learning to surrender those to Him on a daily basis, and to leave them with Him.

Now I've got 17 more persuasive essays to grade this evening, so I had better get on with the job. Report cards are due by midnight Wednesday, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to get them done in time! No more procrastinating, blogging or facebook until they are done!


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